Monday, July 25, 2011

What is wrong with babies wanting to be carried?

I am probably one of the unconventional mamas around. I think it's got alot to do with the parenting books i read.

Any mother would probably heard of this or be an advocate for this advice: don't carry the baby too much least they'll get use to it. I don't believe in this nonsense. It doesn't align with my logic.

What is wrong with babies wanting to be carried? Think about it, the baby has been 'carried' for 9 entire months, safe and close to mummy. The world is quite a different experience from mummy's womb & can be a handful for the infant to download into her puny brain. Of course she cries to be carried, that's where she finds comfort and security from this crazy, noisy world. I tend to think the more we refuse their simple need to be carried, the more insecure they'd become. And on the contrary, they will cry EVEN HARDER the next time.

And dig this, research has shown that babies who are carried more often are those who cries lesser. It has been found that babies in rural countries, Africa, India etc tend to cry lesser than those in the West. Why? Because these babies are carried by their mothers almost 24/7. It makes all the sense to me. To babies, their mothers are safe havens where they feel most secure & comforted. Being carried by their mothers all day long, they feel safe and consoled.

Its a fact that sonshine boy cried much lesser than chub chub when he was an infant. Its also a fact that i carried him, had him close by, co-sleep more often than chub chub. Unfortunately, i don't carry chub chub as often & i dont co sleep with her- not by choice by forced by circumstances. And it is a fact that she cries ALOT more than her brother.

And i don't get it when people say we shouldn't give in to the baby's cries so easily. We all know that babies only form of communication is to cry. So when they cry, they are sending a message that they are in need. By ignoring the baby & leaving her to cry, what are we telling the child? That mummy will selectively come to her rescue, mummy doesn't care about her needs. As if the infant is mature enough to tell herself that 'oh i should not disturb mummy, she needs to rest'. DUH. How silly. How absurd. I think the way to go is to sweep the baby up as quickly as possible, before her whines escalates into heart wrenching wails. Why let the baby go through unnecessary stress?

I think City mothers like us need to re-think our parenting beliefs. We think we are so advanced & knowledgable but truth is, primitive parenting is the better way to go.

1 comment:

  1. nothing wrong at all, my friend!!! I think in today's world, we are just so busy with our lives that we just want them to grow up too quickly.

    i still carry T (not all the time now) when I yearn for a cuddle or kiss cuz he can't keep still anymore...they grow up too quickly

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